přidáno 21.01.2015
hodnoceno 2
čteno 682(11)
posláno 0
Far away and out of sight,
lays my homeland of endless night.
The very place where I was born,
the land of stars of rose and thorn.

It was there I met the purest soul,
a women that consumed me whole.
Her eyes were like a forest pond,
So blue, so deep.
To her only with love I am bound,
until my soul from world is reaped.
We were young and had live to live,
but there was nothing I could give.
To give her as a real prove,
that be with me is the right move.
That she is the reason to live and die,
so she gave me the sad goodbye...

In grief I cried, I felt so sad,
a need has come to choose my path.
I asked myself which will be the best,
and answer came along with quest.
To fight the demons is what I must,

to clear the world of lies and lust.
From deceive and from fear,
from any harm that could come near.
So near to home that it can hurt,
ensure that my world wont be burned.

Sure I became in things I did,
so I have cleaned my lands essence,
but my soul still wasn't free,
I still felt the demons presence.

I still was sad for love I lost
I wanted to know how much it cost.
To free myself from deceive and lies,
I kneel down and cut my eyes.
Now I am open to feel,
there are only things that's real.
With no eyes that could be tricked,
in the truth I remained thicked.
I still feel love for the purest soul,
It will still be strong to my last hour.

No matter what it takes!
No matter all heart brakes!
My will is strong and I can take pain,
Inside I hope she feels the same.
Or at least she will be,
right at the time that she will see.
See me in my now days form,
not as that child that I was before...

I spoke up revealed my love,
but nothing happened as i thought.
She is love itself and I am still behind,
way to impress her still I must find....

I try my best with clearest intention,
but I am still not haveing the attention.
It still looks like I am not enough,
and it looks like I will never be.
Why is it so? Why is it so though?
From her star I cant break free....

In desperation with impatience I act,
with lord of lies with I made a pact.
To become the one, the one she loves,
now I am the lost fool who owes.
Who owes his soul and tranquility,
to hell itself for enetrnity...

I fullfil the demons will.
I cause chaos in his name.
In fear of me the world stands still.
But crucial thing remians the same....

Time goes by and she is never mine.
I suffer pain till the day I die.
And after then in burning inferno,
I am forced to feel the pain eternal.
The satan laughs as I am tormented,
but I dont regret!
the chance was worth it!!

Love you forever.....
přidáno 21.01.2016 - 21:20
I have to disagree with Zam here, as I did actually read this, even though I certainly did not study English for decades. But she is right about the lenght - it's unnecessary. Merely talking about unrequited love for over 10 stanzas is quite boring. Besides, I can't really see the poetry in this - some of the phrases are really clumsy, there are typos, apostrophes missing and the vocabulary is dreadfuly ordinary. Don't write in English because you feel the need to be fancy or because love sounds better to you than láska, especially if you do not have a very sure grasp of the language. It is impossible to express oneself through means one does not fully control (which is why I never write haikus in Japanese - they'd be clumsy and embarassing). By all means, write, refine your poetry - but refine also your English skills before you attempt to bring the language into your poetry.
přidáno 22.01.2015 - 19:05
Obávam se, že ani ti z nás, co měli AJ desítky let, si tohle nepřečtou - je to příliš dlouhé a chtělo by to i překladovou variantu. Pokud chceš relevantní odezvu, musíš tady s tím počítat. To je jako kdybych jsem vložila arabskou báseň bez překladu - na což se chystám :-D Ale bude v obou variantách.

Pokud chcete vložit komentář, musíte se přihlásit.

Chat ¬

- skrýt/zobrazit chat -


Poslední aktivity ¬


Nejčastěji komentující
v minulém měsíci ¬

A B C


Tapety na plochu ¬


Wallpapers

Wallpapers



Apple MacBook

Na skvělém Macbooku vám půjde skládání básní pěkně od ruky.

Ostružina

Zábavný blog plný fotek nejen o bydlení, dekoracích, zahradě.

© 2007 - 2024 psanci.cz || || Básně | Povídky | Webdesign & Programming || PREMIUM účet za povídku